Happy Kislev! Day 16: A month of remembrance of thanksgiving, dreams & miracles!
Driving Dream
I used to have a re-occurring dream that started from my childhood and continued all the way up to my university years. In my dream, I am a small child, sitting in the backseat of my parents' old car (I believe it was a green, Chrysler car from the '80s.) I was so small, in fact, that I had to look up to see the back of my father's head, in front of me, as he was in the front seat driving the car.
All of a sudden, he was gone and the steering wheel was left unattended. I would then feel unsafe, and confused, but I would climb over the wall of a front seat bench, slide into the driver's seat and hold the steering wheel (even though my line of vision was about equal to the bottom of the dashboard.) I was holding the wheel but couldn't even see through the front windshield. I didn't know what kind of danger I was in, or if the car would crash into something, or if I would drive off a cliff. After waking up from this dream, I would have a sense of eeriness settling over me.
This dream meant many things in different stages of my life: a sense of not having a stable, secure environment when my father left our household; a need/fear to take control of my life even though I felt I had no idea where I was heading; a responsibility to take over an extra load from the consequences of my father's decision to leave.
I realize that in many ways, these fears and control had crept into my life without me realizing and they were areas that needed healing and attention.
I thank God that He has been so attentive to me in these areas. He is a gentle God who heals and brings fullness of life and forgiveness. Layer upon layer He asks me to entrust areas of fear, control or anger to Him and in return He brings so much freedom and peace. It really is mind blowing.
People say all the time that it's "hard" to change... or that people don't change. I beg to differ because... well, I know its not true. As far as it being "hard"... it's not that hard... but it can be painful. The actual act of handing things over to God (my burden) is a very simple and easy act in essence. The hard part is getting through the smoke screen of pain (which is mostly self induced predicted fear) rather than actual pain. The pain is still painful, but only in the moment. I know there are larger and deeper kinds of pain to be handled with as well. Most are crusted on by bitterness, anger and unforgiveness. These add many more layers of hurt, thus many more layers of "surrender" is needed. The "hard" part of healing here is that most people don't want to let go of these super-poisons. It feel so much like a part of you, yet it is slowly killing love, joy, hope and fullness in life.
I realize the more you can surrender to God, even as he or the enemy reminds you, you can give your heavy burden for his light one. Thank you God for healing (and even revelations from dreams!)
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ~Matt 11:29-30
I used to have a re-occurring dream that started from my childhood and continued all the way up to my university years. In my dream, I am a small child, sitting in the backseat of my parents' old car (I believe it was a green, Chrysler car from the '80s.) I was so small, in fact, that I had to look up to see the back of my father's head, in front of me, as he was in the front seat driving the car.
All of a sudden, he was gone and the steering wheel was left unattended. I would then feel unsafe, and confused, but I would climb over the wall of a front seat bench, slide into the driver's seat and hold the steering wheel (even though my line of vision was about equal to the bottom of the dashboard.) I was holding the wheel but couldn't even see through the front windshield. I didn't know what kind of danger I was in, or if the car would crash into something, or if I would drive off a cliff. After waking up from this dream, I would have a sense of eeriness settling over me.
This dream meant many things in different stages of my life: a sense of not having a stable, secure environment when my father left our household; a need/fear to take control of my life even though I felt I had no idea where I was heading; a responsibility to take over an extra load from the consequences of my father's decision to leave.
I realize that in many ways, these fears and control had crept into my life without me realizing and they were areas that needed healing and attention.
I thank God that He has been so attentive to me in these areas. He is a gentle God who heals and brings fullness of life and forgiveness. Layer upon layer He asks me to entrust areas of fear, control or anger to Him and in return He brings so much freedom and peace. It really is mind blowing.
People say all the time that it's "hard" to change... or that people don't change. I beg to differ because... well, I know its not true. As far as it being "hard"... it's not that hard... but it can be painful. The actual act of handing things over to God (my burden) is a very simple and easy act in essence. The hard part is getting through the smoke screen of pain (which is mostly self induced predicted fear) rather than actual pain. The pain is still painful, but only in the moment. I know there are larger and deeper kinds of pain to be handled with as well. Most are crusted on by bitterness, anger and unforgiveness. These add many more layers of hurt, thus many more layers of "surrender" is needed. The "hard" part of healing here is that most people don't want to let go of these super-poisons. It feel so much like a part of you, yet it is slowly killing love, joy, hope and fullness in life.
I realize the more you can surrender to God, even as he or the enemy reminds you, you can give your heavy burden for his light one. Thank you God for healing (and even revelations from dreams!)
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. ~Matt 11:29-30
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