Happy Kislev! Day 17: A month of remembrance of thanksgiving, dreams & miracles!
I didn't post yesterday so I'll post two today! :)
Open Vision
It was 2005. I was coming to the conclusion that my passion and zeal to go back to China long-term may have been more from my own determination rather than God's choice for me. I just figured that few would have such a love for a country to want to spend their lives there, so why wouldn't God send me long term there?
After spending some time in Texas at my church, I would hear testimonies of visiting leaders, pastors, missionaries and I began to notice a theme. Although many were called, the calling didn't end up where, when and how they thought it would pan out. God had a much bigger picture in mind.
This somewhat disturbed me because I thought I knew so much from my passion where I would end up. By this time, it was starting to wane because, well.. "hope deferred makes the heart sick...Proverbs 13:12." Realizing that my previous fuel for the overseas could have been my own ambition, I began to take things into my own hands (again, not so good in hearing what God wanted for me.)
I wanted to conduct an experiment. If I go on an overseas volunteer team (somewhere other than China) then maybe God would start speaking to me there about other things. There were many choices that year, but made my mind to choose the country that least resembled China--Dijibouti, Africa.
Every week the church would give a presentation of a country they would be sending a team to, and by the last week, I was pretty set in knowing where I was going (at least that's what I thought.)
I was sitting in a chair on the gym floor, waiting to hear the last presentation about Cambodia (which I had already written off in my mind.) The lights turned out, a video presentation started rolling, and for what seemed like slow motion, everything else blocked out.
I started to see a vision before me and nothing else. All sound was blocked out and anything else in the room. I only could see a vision before me and it was me! I was in Cambodia surrounded by children and the elders. I was a picture of love as I was opening my arms (as if I could embrace them all in one swoop.) I could feel the warmth and love of this picture, clearer than any video presentation. I couldn't believe my eyes!
The picture soon faded quickly and noise and sound started to enter my ears. I was watching a man walk up the stage and challenge the church to go, not because of guilt or pity, but out of love. If God has called you to go, then obey immediately. That rang through my ears all throughout worship. My mind kept telling me I already made my decision to go to Dijibouti but it couldn't even start to tackle what happened to me. I had an open vision.
At the end of service, I reluctantly went to sign-up for Cambodia. After going to the first meeting, I never questioned again. I knew I was supposed to go on the trip. That trip was the start of many unexplainable experiences, but God definitely orchestrated that one. Coming back I knew that China was the first step in God showing me his love for all nations.
There is much more to tell. It took me more experiences and humbling from letting my passion getting in the way, but those stories are for another day. :)
God thank you that you are amazing and speak to your children in so many different ways because you care for us and you care for the nations. I don't want to ever box you in!
Open Vision
It was 2005. I was coming to the conclusion that my passion and zeal to go back to China long-term may have been more from my own determination rather than God's choice for me. I just figured that few would have such a love for a country to want to spend their lives there, so why wouldn't God send me long term there?
After spending some time in Texas at my church, I would hear testimonies of visiting leaders, pastors, missionaries and I began to notice a theme. Although many were called, the calling didn't end up where, when and how they thought it would pan out. God had a much bigger picture in mind.
This somewhat disturbed me because I thought I knew so much from my passion where I would end up. By this time, it was starting to wane because, well.. "hope deferred makes the heart sick...Proverbs 13:12." Realizing that my previous fuel for the overseas could have been my own ambition, I began to take things into my own hands (again, not so good in hearing what God wanted for me.)
I wanted to conduct an experiment. If I go on an overseas volunteer team (somewhere other than China) then maybe God would start speaking to me there about other things. There were many choices that year, but made my mind to choose the country that least resembled China--Dijibouti, Africa.
Every week the church would give a presentation of a country they would be sending a team to, and by the last week, I was pretty set in knowing where I was going (at least that's what I thought.)
I was sitting in a chair on the gym floor, waiting to hear the last presentation about Cambodia (which I had already written off in my mind.) The lights turned out, a video presentation started rolling, and for what seemed like slow motion, everything else blocked out.
I started to see a vision before me and nothing else. All sound was blocked out and anything else in the room. I only could see a vision before me and it was me! I was in Cambodia surrounded by children and the elders. I was a picture of love as I was opening my arms (as if I could embrace them all in one swoop.) I could feel the warmth and love of this picture, clearer than any video presentation. I couldn't believe my eyes!
The picture soon faded quickly and noise and sound started to enter my ears. I was watching a man walk up the stage and challenge the church to go, not because of guilt or pity, but out of love. If God has called you to go, then obey immediately. That rang through my ears all throughout worship. My mind kept telling me I already made my decision to go to Dijibouti but it couldn't even start to tackle what happened to me. I had an open vision.
At the end of service, I reluctantly went to sign-up for Cambodia. After going to the first meeting, I never questioned again. I knew I was supposed to go on the trip. That trip was the start of many unexplainable experiences, but God definitely orchestrated that one. Coming back I knew that China was the first step in God showing me his love for all nations.
There is much more to tell. It took me more experiences and humbling from letting my passion getting in the way, but those stories are for another day. :)
God thank you that you are amazing and speak to your children in so many different ways because you care for us and you care for the nations. I don't want to ever box you in!
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