There's always a cost to belief and there's always a return
Believe it or not, faith costs something.
I'm not talking about a nice idea that is floating around in your head...
or a lofty wish that you hope someday will come to pass,
not even what you are passionate about.
Faith is something that is so closely connected to the core to who you are despite circumstances. Strangely enough, it has nothing to do with your feelings. But your feelings (checked or unchecked) can really breathe life into it, or kill it. It has nothing to do with your preferences, opinions, or knowledge, but all those can come into play with belief...in series of choices. A lot of people today don't commonly use the word "faith," so I'll do some word play and interchange it with "belief" or "believe."
There are so many issues and debates around the world around what people "believe", but what I've been quietly observing is that not as many have belief in what they are saying... they have heated passionate opinions and preferences, but I really don't see much belief in the outcome of their lives and decisions. There are debates over decisions, but the sum of it shows that many lives who are on those vocal ends are played out empty. Even hard dedication to a cause can be seen, but how is it effecting their lives and how they treat others. The real belief show the true colors as you see how one displays their "beliefs" in great or not so great ways. Perhaps its not belief at all, but an old wound fueling a campaign to compensate one's idea of justice...not belief.. that's hurt disguising as a belief, my friend.
Despite opposition from what others from different camps may voice, it shouldn't waver a belief so easily. There are many who struggle with this. The struggle is good, so we can see what remains.
I understand that opposition is not comfortable, or easy. But it shouldn't change what one believes so easily...if it did, maybe it wasn't belief at all in the first place. Maybe it was an opinion or wishful thinking.
I'm not trying to take away from those who have gone through life, able to break-through barriers of circumstances by sticking to what they believe. There are many great men, women, children who have shown through in the course of time and history of greatness due to their beliefs...but I'm addressing a mass phenomenon that the idea of "belief" is getting more watery than a glass of flavored water, instead of the fresh squeezed faith from the fruit itself.
I find that these days, people are so curious about my life. In a soundbyte introduction... I travel a LOT, go where God leads me, sometimes I work, sometimes I don't; trying to find my rest and peace everywhere I go whether I have time or not; always meeting people in the process in whatever/however God has me minister. Usually a lot of inner healing happens, tons of growth and deliverance and many different kind of breakthroughs both for myself and the people I come in contact with, some miracles, signs, dreams, wonders, edifying words and lots of love. This has been my journey that last four years.
Some think I'm crazy; others, that I'm a strange wanderlust traveler; others, a super bold person teemed up with super faith... or belief. I would like to say I am the last, but alas, only an example of one who desires and is growing in that arena. I'm not a "super" Christian. Anyone else has all the same criteria to start with...the choice of belief ...or some would call faith. The amazing thing that why I get to do what I do is because I choose to stop and ask God what He wants me to do.
Ok, so I know many of you are rolling your eyes and already discounting this... thinking "I ask God all the time what He wants me to do with me life, and I never get an answer!"
Well, the reason I'm writing about this post is all in the title. There's always a cost in belief, and there's always a return.
Do you ever consider that when you ask this great question of God's will for your life, there will be an exchange or a return if you place your faith in the discussion?
I used to ask God all the time what His will was for my life. I would many times feel like I left that conversation empty handed and dissatisfied, or even worse, unheard and unanswered.
I realize through my journey of belief, that I really wasn't believing. I wasn't even anywhere close! When I was asking those questions, I didn't take the time to listen (but only in those few short seconds of try to stretch my "spiritual" ears to hear God and when I didn't according to the timing I wanted, I just felt hopeless and gave up)!
My heart (to believe) and my posture (of receiving) wasn't anywhere near those conversations. Was there desperation? Many times. Was there a willingness? Hmmm, a self-deceived willingness to stop pain caused by internal torture or fear. Did I really want to know what God wanted for me? To be honest...no. I just wanted fear, shame, guilt or pain to stop. There, I said it. What others don't want to admit, but knowingly agree when I say it. Did I really care what God thinks? Many of those prayers in the past and sometimes presently... No.
Strangely enough God has shown up many times in my desperation, guilt, fear, pain, shame. Those things don't hold him back...but there are times when I let those things speak louder than what my heart holds in willingness to believe. And many times we are listening to those elements rather than listening to God's voice. There are also times of silence in prayer, but you may want to ask yourself if any of those things are the highlight of your conversation or is the highlight what God's opinion is? If He shared His opinion with you, would you be willing to stop, listen, believe and then go through with it?
I remember visiting a group of friends in California. We used to gather together monthly and pray together. In a recent reunion, a younger member seemed to be excited about hearing some of my stories and journey. She asked how I could do what I do. I don't exactly remember how I answered, but I did tell her that its not always easy, it is chalk full of faith-building training(which always has an elements of risk), and that not everyone understands the journey. Even people whom I want to share so much with, had much doubt and concern in what I do. I found it difficult because they were closed to the amazing things I have to share in what God is doing. Another mature friend in the group commented, "This type of journey-ing has great, great rewards, but also comes with a cost."
I understood what she meant, but hadn't really thought about it until then. Why? Because the rewards were so great, it really didn't give me much to think about the cost. I knew I had overcome so much apprehension and fear by my reaction to this comment because it seemed like quite the opposite considering how I was reacting a few years back.
God was reminding me of my decisions based on belief... of moving forward...moving on... trusting him...
I wanted a life of faith, and that starts from willingness from the heart, poured into the decisions of everyday living.
This really isn't about how I live my life compared to yours, its about belief and making a heart decision that follows through in everyday moments. They don't have to be grand decisions, but every decision from the heart is grand to God. He takes it and greatly rewards it when its in Him.
Some people would comment, "I don't think I could live like you" or "How can you have so much courage?" Honestly, I can't explain other than that one decision to say "Yes" to follow God through, leads to a wonderful encounter. Another following "Yes" continues to more wonderful encounters. It keeps growing and getting larger... the "Yes'" grows and so do the encounters.
Mind you, there were some pretty intimidating situations and things I faced as a result of saying "Yes" but, God is faithful and He will walk with you through it and if you do continue with it, you'll be all the more free and alive because of it. You also will become more intimate with God and be able to know and hear him in deeper ways. There is always a return that's greater than the cost of belief.
Now there is also an element that most are not aware of. Unbelief (or lack of belief). It's actually a misnomer, because an unbelief is actually a belief in something else. This too has a large return. Most would not recognize this because the focus is on not believing something... or maybe even making no decision to believe, but in fact you've already placed a belief in something else. It may be called concerns, doubts, anger, pride, indifference or fear. When a question is served concerning belief, you will make a choice and it will bring a return. We all know where worrying takes us... it is usually an amplified return of fears...or large trust that something is going to go wrong. Even when you want to make the decision to have no opinion, it is also a decision towards something that will bring a return.
If you find yourself sowing into the wrong belief, it's okay. You can just re-adjust. Let God know that you're sorry for trusting something else greater than trusting Him and that you want to shift back to His ways. He will always take you back if your heart is sincere. Shifting your mindset and belief system and line it up with God's. This can even be dealt within thought patterns and mindsets. Its amazing how it can affect moments of your day!
Will my life be like what the last four year have brought forever? I think not. I think there will be plenty travel to come and many elements and moments similar to what I am doing now but this is a very special chapter that will close soon and another is presenting itself. Whatever chapter I am in, I know there are returns for the cost of belief in every stage of life. They are always satisfying.
I end this entry with a quote from Amanda Cook:
I'm not talking about a nice idea that is floating around in your head...
or a lofty wish that you hope someday will come to pass,
not even what you are passionate about.
Faith is something that is so closely connected to the core to who you are despite circumstances. Strangely enough, it has nothing to do with your feelings. But your feelings (checked or unchecked) can really breathe life into it, or kill it. It has nothing to do with your preferences, opinions, or knowledge, but all those can come into play with belief...in series of choices. A lot of people today don't commonly use the word "faith," so I'll do some word play and interchange it with "belief" or "believe."
There are so many issues and debates around the world around what people "believe", but what I've been quietly observing is that not as many have belief in what they are saying... they have heated passionate opinions and preferences, but I really don't see much belief in the outcome of their lives and decisions. There are debates over decisions, but the sum of it shows that many lives who are on those vocal ends are played out empty. Even hard dedication to a cause can be seen, but how is it effecting their lives and how they treat others. The real belief show the true colors as you see how one displays their "beliefs" in great or not so great ways. Perhaps its not belief at all, but an old wound fueling a campaign to compensate one's idea of justice...not belief.. that's hurt disguising as a belief, my friend.
Despite opposition from what others from different camps may voice, it shouldn't waver a belief so easily. There are many who struggle with this. The struggle is good, so we can see what remains.
I understand that opposition is not comfortable, or easy. But it shouldn't change what one believes so easily...if it did, maybe it wasn't belief at all in the first place. Maybe it was an opinion or wishful thinking.
I'm not trying to take away from those who have gone through life, able to break-through barriers of circumstances by sticking to what they believe. There are many great men, women, children who have shown through in the course of time and history of greatness due to their beliefs...but I'm addressing a mass phenomenon that the idea of "belief" is getting more watery than a glass of flavored water, instead of the fresh squeezed faith from the fruit itself.
I find that these days, people are so curious about my life. In a soundbyte introduction... I travel a LOT, go where God leads me, sometimes I work, sometimes I don't; trying to find my rest and peace everywhere I go whether I have time or not; always meeting people in the process in whatever/however God has me minister. Usually a lot of inner healing happens, tons of growth and deliverance and many different kind of breakthroughs both for myself and the people I come in contact with, some miracles, signs, dreams, wonders, edifying words and lots of love. This has been my journey that last four years.
Some think I'm crazy; others, that I'm a strange wanderlust traveler; others, a super bold person teemed up with super faith... or belief. I would like to say I am the last, but alas, only an example of one who desires and is growing in that arena. I'm not a "super" Christian. Anyone else has all the same criteria to start with...the choice of belief ...or some would call faith. The amazing thing that why I get to do what I do is because I choose to stop and ask God what He wants me to do.
Ok, so I know many of you are rolling your eyes and already discounting this... thinking "I ask God all the time what He wants me to do with me life, and I never get an answer!"
Well, the reason I'm writing about this post is all in the title. There's always a cost in belief, and there's always a return.
Do you ever consider that when you ask this great question of God's will for your life, there will be an exchange or a return if you place your faith in the discussion?
I used to ask God all the time what His will was for my life. I would many times feel like I left that conversation empty handed and dissatisfied, or even worse, unheard and unanswered.
I realize through my journey of belief, that I really wasn't believing. I wasn't even anywhere close! When I was asking those questions, I didn't take the time to listen (but only in those few short seconds of try to stretch my "spiritual" ears to hear God and when I didn't according to the timing I wanted, I just felt hopeless and gave up)!
My heart (to believe) and my posture (of receiving) wasn't anywhere near those conversations. Was there desperation? Many times. Was there a willingness? Hmmm, a self-deceived willingness to stop pain caused by internal torture or fear. Did I really want to know what God wanted for me? To be honest...no. I just wanted fear, shame, guilt or pain to stop. There, I said it. What others don't want to admit, but knowingly agree when I say it. Did I really care what God thinks? Many of those prayers in the past and sometimes presently... No.
Strangely enough God has shown up many times in my desperation, guilt, fear, pain, shame. Those things don't hold him back...but there are times when I let those things speak louder than what my heart holds in willingness to believe. And many times we are listening to those elements rather than listening to God's voice. There are also times of silence in prayer, but you may want to ask yourself if any of those things are the highlight of your conversation or is the highlight what God's opinion is? If He shared His opinion with you, would you be willing to stop, listen, believe and then go through with it?
I remember visiting a group of friends in California. We used to gather together monthly and pray together. In a recent reunion, a younger member seemed to be excited about hearing some of my stories and journey. She asked how I could do what I do. I don't exactly remember how I answered, but I did tell her that its not always easy, it is chalk full of faith-building training(which always has an elements of risk), and that not everyone understands the journey. Even people whom I want to share so much with, had much doubt and concern in what I do. I found it difficult because they were closed to the amazing things I have to share in what God is doing. Another mature friend in the group commented, "This type of journey-ing has great, great rewards, but also comes with a cost."
I understood what she meant, but hadn't really thought about it until then. Why? Because the rewards were so great, it really didn't give me much to think about the cost. I knew I had overcome so much apprehension and fear by my reaction to this comment because it seemed like quite the opposite considering how I was reacting a few years back.
God was reminding me of my decisions based on belief... of moving forward...moving on... trusting him...
I wanted a life of faith, and that starts from willingness from the heart, poured into the decisions of everyday living.
This really isn't about how I live my life compared to yours, its about belief and making a heart decision that follows through in everyday moments. They don't have to be grand decisions, but every decision from the heart is grand to God. He takes it and greatly rewards it when its in Him.
Some people would comment, "I don't think I could live like you" or "How can you have so much courage?" Honestly, I can't explain other than that one decision to say "Yes" to follow God through, leads to a wonderful encounter. Another following "Yes" continues to more wonderful encounters. It keeps growing and getting larger... the "Yes'" grows and so do the encounters.
Mind you, there were some pretty intimidating situations and things I faced as a result of saying "Yes" but, God is faithful and He will walk with you through it and if you do continue with it, you'll be all the more free and alive because of it. You also will become more intimate with God and be able to know and hear him in deeper ways. There is always a return that's greater than the cost of belief.
Now there is also an element that most are not aware of. Unbelief (or lack of belief). It's actually a misnomer, because an unbelief is actually a belief in something else. This too has a large return. Most would not recognize this because the focus is on not believing something... or maybe even making no decision to believe, but in fact you've already placed a belief in something else. It may be called concerns, doubts, anger, pride, indifference or fear. When a question is served concerning belief, you will make a choice and it will bring a return. We all know where worrying takes us... it is usually an amplified return of fears...or large trust that something is going to go wrong. Even when you want to make the decision to have no opinion, it is also a decision towards something that will bring a return.
If you find yourself sowing into the wrong belief, it's okay. You can just re-adjust. Let God know that you're sorry for trusting something else greater than trusting Him and that you want to shift back to His ways. He will always take you back if your heart is sincere. Shifting your mindset and belief system and line it up with God's. This can even be dealt within thought patterns and mindsets. Its amazing how it can affect moments of your day!
Will my life be like what the last four year have brought forever? I think not. I think there will be plenty travel to come and many elements and moments similar to what I am doing now but this is a very special chapter that will close soon and another is presenting itself. Whatever chapter I am in, I know there are returns for the cost of belief in every stage of life. They are always satisfying.
I end this entry with a quote from Amanda Cook:
"The reward of saying 'Yes' is greater than the regret of saying 'No'"
~ Amanda Cook (story behind "You Make Me Brave")
~ Amanda Cook (story behind "You Make Me Brave")
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