Comparison - the Trojan Horse
Have you ever stop to think how often your thoughts are filled with comparison?
If you live in America (and/or the Western world), it may be as common as in every driving desire you have in your life.
Comparison, in itself, is not bad. The reaction to comparison is the motor of all sorts of strange actions, reactions and drive. Often, it leads to dissatisfaction and competition. Again, healthy dissatisfaction and competition, in itself, also is not bad. Healthy comparison will bring about desires of truthful justice and great creativity. Healthy comparison will bring about healthy growth and innovation.
But the question is, how much dissatisfaction and competition in your thoughts are positive and how much are negative?
On my journey of embracing my true identity in Christ, there are a whole lot of things that get tossed out. With that, there are tons of ideas of negative and harmful thoughts, mindsets of comparison and negative competition (even with myself!)
I used to have all sorts of negative comparison in my life. It was either disguised as "goals," "wishes," "desires"... and sometimes it would reveal itself as plain envy. The commonality in all these were a reason to "punish" myself in ways to "better" myself. All of that was OFF the path of healthy thought life and patterns.
In strange, but common ways, it would creep into my spiritual life and this was a BIG problem. Comparing myself to people, my talents with others, or growth rate to others were a huge problem with my relationship with God. In the middle of it all, it was disguised as "holy growth, desire, way of the spiritual." This presented a huge problem...because it became my motor of "fixing myself, my ways, my problems" by doing things that look spiritual, instead of deepening a personal and real relationship with God.
The pattern was that the focus was all about me. It was cleverly disguised because a "spiritual" label was slapped on, even though this "spiritual" journey really had little to do about God. It was a good looking Trojan horse, that ended up sabotaging the real relationship with God.
Now don't get me wrong, I had some real and personal experiences with God. He has been gracious to hear many of my past painful cries and His blessings come through very often. I've seen miracles, healing and answered prayers in that state! Many prayers have been answered and God IS good (all the time!), despite my mode of operation... but that is living through a very spiritually anemic lifestyle/relationship, whereas the fullness of a blossoming relationship can be had in its place.
What I was doing also bypassed what Jesus did on the cross, because I was becoming my own responsibility to "do" better in order to "feel" better, instead of letting Jesus be Lord over my life and let God speak into my definition of my identity. I was trying to "fix" myself and be my own "savior" instead of coming to the real and true Savior.
That part just gets me deep, because I didn't realize that was the mode I was operating in, until Holy Spirit revealed it to me. I thought I was doing good. Making the subconscious (not even conscious) checklists of being a "good" Christian, but forgetting such core fundamentals...For instance, Jesus is what makes us good. God is what makes us good. Going through checklists may build discipline... but in the end, discipline is just self-discipline. It's just neutral (at best) in the grand scheme of things if God's not the one guiding you. God is what makes it good.
Have you ever thought to ask Jesus what he thinks about you?
If you are like how I was, I would cringe every time that thought would come up. I would expect the worst.... Why? Because I thought He would compare me to someone "better" or even Himself. I would expect him to compare my actions to someone else's or His own. I would think He would judge my thoughts to what I thought they should be...perfect 100% of the time. Writing it out already sounds ridiculous, but its very true and believe it or not, its very common to many Christians I come across. It almost sounds like many Christians expect to be God...in perfection and judgement...but in denial of ever thinking that way... a very strange phenomenon.
By the way, No. He is not expecting us to be like that. When you have a growing relationship with Jesus, when He is addressing you, He directs His attention to you...He doesn't compare you to anyone else. He may speak to you about your past, present or future...and even of other people, but he is not putting you in comparison to them. But you will find Him just, good, kind, loving and so much more.
You can see this in John 21, when he deals with Peter after Peter had betrayed him by denying Jesus three times. Jesus reinstates Peter with integrity, purpose and calling. Peter then changes the focus onto John. Jesus doesn't play into the comparison game, and calls Peter to the heart of the matter and focuses back to himself and what he has in store for Peter.
Also, when you read Hebrews 11 (the long list of hall-o-fame-ers of faith,) you will realize that they each get their recognition of faith. Some had dedicated 40 years+, some their entire lives of following God. But others, such as Rahab, had 2 days accredited to her recognition of following God. She was included on that list with the same "huge" names of faith. Sarah, laughed in disbelief of God's word coming true, but in Hebrews, she was given the label of "faith." She was part of the fulfillment of that promise and God put her on that list!
See where I'm going here? Interesting that God would label her in the list of faith, when she actually was in disbelief of the idea God would give her a son. There were also the "great" names of Moses, Abraham, etc. But the list is so colorful and diverse, there isn't any one "type" of person on that list. That is just like God, to make such a colorful list of people. No comparison to other "players." He accredited to each their own, according to their capacity, and role.
Doesn't that make you want to re-think how God sees you... and what He has to say about you, your identity and your purpose in life?
When you hear his voice with an open heart, He will reveal truth...and sometimes things that aren't so pretty. But he will fill you up, bring restoration and healing to your identity and soul. He will bring fullness to overflow into the things you need to get done, get through, and overcome. He will show you His thoughts of you... and they are not to be avoided, but welcomed. Why? Because of who God is, and because He sees you for who you are, who He made you to be and who you are in Jesus.
If you live in America (and/or the Western world), it may be as common as in every driving desire you have in your life.
Comparison, in itself, is not bad. The reaction to comparison is the motor of all sorts of strange actions, reactions and drive. Often, it leads to dissatisfaction and competition. Again, healthy dissatisfaction and competition, in itself, also is not bad. Healthy comparison will bring about desires of truthful justice and great creativity. Healthy comparison will bring about healthy growth and innovation.
But the question is, how much dissatisfaction and competition in your thoughts are positive and how much are negative?
On my journey of embracing my true identity in Christ, there are a whole lot of things that get tossed out. With that, there are tons of ideas of negative and harmful thoughts, mindsets of comparison and negative competition (even with myself!)
I used to have all sorts of negative comparison in my life. It was either disguised as "goals," "wishes," "desires"... and sometimes it would reveal itself as plain envy. The commonality in all these were a reason to "punish" myself in ways to "better" myself. All of that was OFF the path of healthy thought life and patterns.
In strange, but common ways, it would creep into my spiritual life and this was a BIG problem. Comparing myself to people, my talents with others, or growth rate to others were a huge problem with my relationship with God. In the middle of it all, it was disguised as "holy growth, desire, way of the spiritual." This presented a huge problem...because it became my motor of "fixing myself, my ways, my problems" by doing things that look spiritual, instead of deepening a personal and real relationship with God.
The pattern was that the focus was all about me. It was cleverly disguised because a "spiritual" label was slapped on, even though this "spiritual" journey really had little to do about God. It was a good looking Trojan horse, that ended up sabotaging the real relationship with God.
Now don't get me wrong, I had some real and personal experiences with God. He has been gracious to hear many of my past painful cries and His blessings come through very often. I've seen miracles, healing and answered prayers in that state! Many prayers have been answered and God IS good (all the time!), despite my mode of operation... but that is living through a very spiritually anemic lifestyle/relationship, whereas the fullness of a blossoming relationship can be had in its place.
What I was doing also bypassed what Jesus did on the cross, because I was becoming my own responsibility to "do" better in order to "feel" better, instead of letting Jesus be Lord over my life and let God speak into my definition of my identity. I was trying to "fix" myself and be my own "savior" instead of coming to the real and true Savior.
That part just gets me deep, because I didn't realize that was the mode I was operating in, until Holy Spirit revealed it to me. I thought I was doing good. Making the subconscious (not even conscious) checklists of being a "good" Christian, but forgetting such core fundamentals...For instance, Jesus is what makes us good. God is what makes us good. Going through checklists may build discipline... but in the end, discipline is just self-discipline. It's just neutral (at best) in the grand scheme of things if God's not the one guiding you. God is what makes it good.
Have you ever thought to ask Jesus what he thinks about you?
If you are like how I was, I would cringe every time that thought would come up. I would expect the worst.... Why? Because I thought He would compare me to someone "better" or even Himself. I would expect him to compare my actions to someone else's or His own. I would think He would judge my thoughts to what I thought they should be...perfect 100% of the time. Writing it out already sounds ridiculous, but its very true and believe it or not, its very common to many Christians I come across. It almost sounds like many Christians expect to be God...in perfection and judgement...but in denial of ever thinking that way... a very strange phenomenon.
By the way, No. He is not expecting us to be like that. When you have a growing relationship with Jesus, when He is addressing you, He directs His attention to you...He doesn't compare you to anyone else. He may speak to you about your past, present or future...and even of other people, but he is not putting you in comparison to them. But you will find Him just, good, kind, loving and so much more.
You can see this in John 21, when he deals with Peter after Peter had betrayed him by denying Jesus three times. Jesus reinstates Peter with integrity, purpose and calling. Peter then changes the focus onto John. Jesus doesn't play into the comparison game, and calls Peter to the heart of the matter and focuses back to himself and what he has in store for Peter.
Also, when you read Hebrews 11 (the long list of hall-o-fame-ers of faith,) you will realize that they each get their recognition of faith. Some had dedicated 40 years+, some their entire lives of following God. But others, such as Rahab, had 2 days accredited to her recognition of following God. She was included on that list with the same "huge" names of faith. Sarah, laughed in disbelief of God's word coming true, but in Hebrews, she was given the label of "faith." She was part of the fulfillment of that promise and God put her on that list!
See where I'm going here? Interesting that God would label her in the list of faith, when she actually was in disbelief of the idea God would give her a son. There were also the "great" names of Moses, Abraham, etc. But the list is so colorful and diverse, there isn't any one "type" of person on that list. That is just like God, to make such a colorful list of people. No comparison to other "players." He accredited to each their own, according to their capacity, and role.
Doesn't that make you want to re-think how God sees you... and what He has to say about you, your identity and your purpose in life?
When you hear his voice with an open heart, He will reveal truth...and sometimes things that aren't so pretty. But he will fill you up, bring restoration and healing to your identity and soul. He will bring fullness to overflow into the things you need to get done, get through, and overcome. He will show you His thoughts of you... and they are not to be avoided, but welcomed. Why? Because of who God is, and because He sees you for who you are, who He made you to be and who you are in Jesus.
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